Affliction Read online

  AFFLICTION

  River Savage

  AFFLICTION

  ©2014

  First eBook edition: November 2014

  Affliction is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading and sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Edited by Becky Johnson, Hot Tree Editing

  Cover design ©: Louisa Maggio at LM Creations

  Image: Mofatt Photography

  Model: Nick Potato

  Formatting by Max Henry at Max Effect

  Information address: [email protected]

  CONTENTS

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Past

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Past

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Past

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Past

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Past

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Past

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  PROLOGUE

  Sy

  “Chemotherapy was unsuccessful.” His words echo around the small, stuffy office.

  Three words.

  I never thought three words would once again have the power to destroy me. The room is silent as we take in the devastating news. The clock ticks obnoxiously above us as I force myself not to break down in front of him, in front of Katie.

  “What’s our next option?” I ask, swallowing past the lump forming in my throat. I reach out to grab Katie’s hand. Her cold grip holds onto mine, our fingers intertwining, and in that one moment I feel like the connection of our fingers, our mere touch alone, could get us through anything. Even this.

  “The high-dose chemotherapy has destroyed the bone marrow. With both aggressive treatments now unsuccessful we need to prepare ourselves that a stem cell transplant is our last hope," he explains as Katie’s first sob tears from her throat. “My concern is finding a match in our time frame. Ideally, with a stem cell transplant, the best chance is a sibling donor. Since we don’t have that option, we broaden the search. I want to discuss the possibility of contacting Keira’s biological father before we move to anonymous donors. The chances of him matching are small, but as you both came back negative, we should try every avenue.”

  “What?” The question gets stuck in my throat as my world spins out of control. “You must be confused.” I look from the doctor to my wife, thinking it’s some kind of sick joke.

  “Oh God.” Katie draws in a sharp breath and something in me clicks.

  “Katie?” I ask, pulling on her now lax hand.

  “I’m sorry,” Dr. Parks cuts me off, looking between both of us, his eyes growing wide as he puts something together. “I was under the assumption that you knew Keira isn’t your child.” He shifts awkwardly, looking between us.

  “Sylas, I’m so sorry. This is not how I meant to tell you.” Katie pulls out of my grasp, moving away from me.

  “What the fuck is going on, Katie?”

  “Oh, God, don’t hate me,” she cries, rocking back and forth, holding herself.

  Protecting herself.

  “Hate you?” I search her face, still not sure my brain has caught up. “What are you saying?” I ask again, frantic as realization slowly creeps in.

  “Keira isn’t yours,” she says, barely above a whisper, but the words blare into my ears like someone just announced it over the PA system. “Sy.” She reaches out, but my body jerks away, her words running through me, breaking through the hardness I’ve erected since our daughter became ill.

  “No,” I argue, not believing what’s coming out of her mouth. It’s not true. I’ve been there every step of the way. From the first sonogram, to holding her hand as doctors figured out what was wrong with her.

  This can't be real.

  “I’m sorry, Sy. You have to believe me. I never meant to lie to you. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.” She frantically tries to reach for me. I move to the door, the stuffy oncologist’s office closing in on me. I look at the woman who has had my heart from the moment she became mine. I want to scream and shake it out of her to admit she is lying, but I don't. I feel lost. Broken. My daughter lies dying in this hospital and my wife just told me she isn't even mine.

  Three words.

  What is it with three words?

  Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.

  Chemotherapy wasn’t successful.

  Keira isn’t yours.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Sy

  Seven Years Later

  Have you ever looked at a stranger and felt yourself going back to another time in your life? A time you just want to completely forget. It was her laugh that grabbed my attention. The moment she walked through the door, I was shot back to the first time I met Katie. It was like déjà vu. Not an ‘I’ve done this or been here before’ type, but my reaction as I look at the smoking hot blonde who just came in, is something I have only ever felt one other time in my life. A time I try every day to keep blocked from my memory. It was as if God was playing some sick, twisted joke on me.

  “What a ball of fucking sunshine.” Her sultry voice is projected to me instead of her friend. I’ve already turned her down for a tattoo, but she just won’t give up. If it wasn’t for the fact the woman she walked in with was the same woman who's had my Prez’s head messed up since last week, I would have told them to leave ten minutes ago. Looking at her now, I remember seeing her the first night at Fireside Bar when Nix was working double time to get some tail, but I didn’t take much notice of her then. I never take much notice anymore—not since Katie. But this fiery blonde has been running her mouth since the moment she stepped in to my store, and for some reason, my mind and my dick won’t let it go.

  Checking the clock, I count the minutes until my Prez gets his ass down here. I called him as soon as I realized who had walked in, letting him know to get down to Ink Me if he wanted to catch the woman who’s been messing with his head for the last couple of weeks. Ever since he was called in for a meeting at his son, Z’s, school he’s been chasing his tail following the woman around. I know she’s been messing with him, and when I made the phone call, I thought I was helping him out, but I’m regretting getting involved. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do if I have to hear her friend’s voice for much longer.

  “What crawled up your ass?” The blonde asks when her friend moves away to fill out the release form for body piercing. She leans over the counter, her tits pushed up for all to see. My eyes are drawn to her creamy white skin, so clean, so fucking pure. I want to tell her to shut the fuck up before I find a better use for her mouth, but I can’t seem to form a sentence.

  “You really are a ball of sunshine. I think I should just call you ‘Sunshine’ from this point on," she continues, unfazed by my lack of reaction. The more her mouth keeps running, the harder my dick gets.

  I keep my expression blank, trying so fucking hard not to respond. I don’t want to engage with her, but something tells me this woman isn’t about to give up.

  “Okay, let’s do it.” The brunette hands me the form just as Nix walks in.

  “Where the fuck are the rest of your clothes?” he barks out, and I now know the asshole is a goner. He’s been sulking all week and the boys have been giving him shit every chance they’ve had. I step back, not really interested in watching Nix hand the woman his balls. I look over and watch the blonde taking in the whole scene. While she’s lost in the drama, I’m lost in watching her. What the fuck?

  “That was so hot,” she announces to the shop at some shit Nix just spewed and I can’t help the scoff that falls from my lips. She turns and gives me a look of challenge, and then takes up a spot next to her friend.

  “Don’t be a pig,” I hear her say, but I’m not paying attention. I’m too busy checking out her ass. Jesus, there is something about her, some sort of fucked up pull that I don’t like one fucking bit. Shaking off
the attraction, I force myself to forget it. This woman is not what I need. I need less drama and a woman who isn’t going to con me into falling for her just from a few sassy words.

  I never used to be this way. Never used to be afraid to open up. But when the woman you love betrays you—leaving you broken and mourning the loss of a child who was never yours—it changes a man. The anger flowing through my veins never leaves. The hurt seeping from my pores never stops, and the pain of losing a child will never leave me, even if the child I loved with everything I had was never mine to begin with.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Holly

  “What do you mean, desk?” I ask, looking between my best friend, Kadence, and her new man, Nix. He winks, smirking while she death stares him. I’m not normally a jealous person, but standing and watching the way the man looks at her would make any grown woman jealous. The man is sexy, mixed with a sprinkle of bad news. If I knew the Knights Rebels were this hot up close, I would have crashed one of their parties sooner.

  “He doesn’t mean anything.” Kadence tries to recover, but I can see it in her eyes. Sexy biker daddy and the naughty school teacher played freaky in class.

  “You had sex on your desk?” I ask, putting two and two together, wondering how she failed to fill me in on that bit of information. We are best friends, have been since our first day of college. When she walked into orientation looking all serious inocent, I knew we would be the perfect match. She’s always been the serious one and I’ve been the crazy one, but as we stand out the front of Ink Me, ten minutes after Kadence just got her belly pierced, I’m beginning to think Kadence just took serious to a whole new level. I’m actually shocked she went through with it.

  We were heading home after a girls’ night when I dragged her through the doors of the newest ink shop in Rushford. My only play was to check out the eye candy sitting behind the counter. His dark looks and inked skin were what drew me in, his bad boy attitude was what made me stay. We had no idea the Rebels owned the place or that the bad boy who lured me in is a patched member.

  “We didn’t have sex,” Kadence argues, but I know she’s not telling the truth. If she didn’t have sex, she did something else nasty.

  “Kadence,” Nix warns again and I can see it in his eyes, he’s losing patience. I’ve only met Nix Knight one other time and patience is not his strong suit.

  “Go,” I tell her, giving her the extra push she clearly needs. She might be the bravest and strongest woman I know, but she sure can be clueless with men. If I had a man as sexy as Nix there would be no begging involved.

  “Fine,” she huffs, walking forward to get on his bike. Nix doesn’t waste time. He takes her hand and drags her the rest of the way.

  “Sy, make sure Holly gets home,” Nix calls out his final command to the man who lured me into the shop in the first place. Sy. The badass biker with a bad attitude has a name. The minute I walked through the doors I thought this is going to be fun. Little did I know the ray of sunshine is everything but fun. I try not to look back at him while Kadence fiddles with the strap on her helmet, but I can’t control my eyes when they move to him. His stern stare tells me he isn’t impressed with his job of getting me safely home, but I don’t focus on that. His tattooed arms and neck have my attention, teasing me with what could possibly be hiding under the dark Henley he’s wearing tonight. Even if he doesn’t seem interested, I can’t help myself. I’ve run over every scenario of how I can get him into my bed.

  “I’m sorry, Holly,” Kadence calls out, breaking my obvious staring.

  “You don’t look sorry.” I turn back and watch as Nix taps the top of her helmet and picks her up to place her on the back of his bike. She yelps, and then accepts his kiss when he leans forward for one. Their connection is almost sickening. She waves one more time before Nix starts his bike and pulls out, leaving me alone with the cranky biker.

  “So, Sunshine.” I turn to watch him, using the name I now dedicate to him, “I’m curious. Do you treat everyone like this, or am I just special?” Not answering, his dark grey eyes glare at me, but I’m expecting it. The man hasn’t spoken one word to me, ignoring every question I’ve asked. He blinks once, then twice before he turns and stalks to his bike. Man, this guy is one broody, sexy asshole. It’s a crying shame he hasn’t taken to my advances. I don’t often find myself in these sorts of predicaments, but I have to admit, the thrill of the chase makes for pretty hot foreplay.

  “Let’s do this,” I say, following him and feeling like a fool talking to myself. Maybe he doesn’t know anything but asshole talk? He continues to ignore me as he hands me the helmet, and then starts his bike. The ground under my feet shakes as he pulls the throttle back. The loud, deep rumble moves through my body and I can’t help the excitement I feel knowing I’m about to get on the back of this sexy man’s bike.

  Putting the helmet on my head, I fiddle with the strap, but he doesn’t turn back to help like Nix did for Kadence. He simply sits, waiting for me to climb on.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” I say, trying not to let his silence bother me. He is intimidating; I’ll give him that, but the tattoos, the darkness, and the mystery…who wouldn’t put up a decent fight? Ready to get on the back, I move forward and put my hand on one shoulder, ready to mount. I lift my leg, but my dress stops me from getting on. “Don’t turn around,” I tell him, hiking my skirt up to get on behind him. He still doesn’t say anything, just stares ahead while I fix my skirt, making sure I don’t flash anyone. Jesus, Kadence made this look easy.

  “Where do I put my feet?” I ask, a little unsure of myself when I finally settle in behind him. He leans to one side, bends from the waist and reaches down. His large, callused hand slides down my naked leg. I don’t respond, but the intimate touch feels so good I have to force myself not to purr. His touch is firm, but still has a softness about it as he positions my foot on a small peg. He holds it there for a moment, and for a brief second, I feel his thumb slowly sweep along my skin in a small caress. It’s so subtle I second-guess what I felt until he releases my ankle and then does the same for the other side. I don’t react, unsure of what it means, or if it means anything. What I do know is this man seems like a list of contradictions. So hard and filled with so much anger, while in the next breath he’s gentle and even a little lost. I lean forward when he sits back up and wrap my hands around him. His body feels hard underneath them, the leather of his cut cool on my fingertips.

  “Second right off Main, then first left,” I tell him, my fingers flexing instinctively at our closeness. He nods, still not speaking, and after a few revs of the throttle we take off. My grip on his cut deepens as the forward motion catches me off guard. I’ve never been on a bike, and after hearing Kadence’s rendition of her ride with Nix, I can now say the woman did not lie. Even if we only go slow, the air blowing my hair back is exhilarating. I don’t know if I want to get off.

  “You can go faster,” I encourage, hoping he takes the hint, but something tells me he’s not the type of man to take any sort of hint. He continues to stay mute, so instead of wasting my breath, I hold on tighter and memorize his hard body under my hands.

  The short ride to my apartment is over before I know it, and when he pulls into the lot, disappointment fills me. I shouldn’t be feeling like this; the man is all wrong. He doesn’t even seem interested. Why do I always go for the ones not interested? He idles in the drive while I manage to untangle myself without flashing my neighbors.

  “Well, thanks for the ride, Sunshine,” I say once I’ve handed back his helmet. He takes it without speaking a word and places it on his head before looking back at me. Jeez, he really is a man of few words.

  “Okay then,” I say awkwardly, even giving him a small wave and goofy smile. Holly, the guy isn’t interested. Don’t be cute. I inwardly groan at my discomfort.

  His eyes narrow as he watches me and I realize I’m better off hitting my head against a wall. The man clearly has his own issues and is not interested in me being cute. I know rejection can happen—I’m just not familiar with it. I try to ignore the sting of his dismissal. I turn before I make a bigger fool of myself and start walking up the front path.

  “See ya,” he finally acknowledges while revving his bike and pulls out before I can even reply. What the fuck? Now he talks?

  Hitting the button for the elevator, I go through the events of tonight. The whole situation was weird. Between his instant snarky attitude at me being in his shop, to his obvious annoyance, I’m pretty certain cranky sexy biker doesn’t like me at all.